TMI? TDB.

I am a hormone spaz. Yeah it's right about that time again and the insanity reared it's head this morning. I have known for a couple of days now that GK would be spending tonight upstate with his brother-in-law and some of their friends. He'll be back either tomorrow or Sunday night. Dudes, he isn't even leaving the state for this trip. I will admit to not being overjoyed at not seeing him for a couple of days, but I will also admit to sort of looking forward to having a little bit of time to myself. Growing up, I spent an exorbitant amount of time alone and it is a situation that I am completely comfortable with. I was looking forward to having time to do my own Erin thang. Don't get me wrong, I do love GK and love spending time with him but everybody needs their own space right? Well that's what I thought too. So, imagine my surprise this morning when we're standing in Walmart and I nearly start bawling. Nothing really provoked this onset of tears, we were just standing there waiting for our food and suddenly thought "after a few minutes I won't be able to see GK again until tomorrow night maybe" and it felt like the end of the world was upon us and bingo! Tears-o-rama! Don't worry, I didn't really start crying. I did that thing where you open your eyes really widely so they look merely watery and then sort of brush at them and go "stupid allergies," and act like "oh no, I wasn't just about to cry, I was merely affected by two specks of dust that happened to hit both eyes at the exact same time." (or am I the only person who does this?) It isn't really subtle and usually works on people. GK, however, looks at me and goes "I think somebody isn't feeling well and might be a bit hormonal." Okay stop. Normally, being accused of having PMS, is enough to send me into a "screw you and your donkey, man!" rage. It doesn't matter if it's true, it's just the principle of "girls can't be moody unless it's that time of the month" mentality that chews my butt. This time, however, it didn't....mainly because he's right. I have come down with The Plague Two: Bubonic's Revenge over the last couple of days and it really is very close to that time of the month, and he said it in such a caring way... I just couldn't get mad at him. I'm glad he recongnizes this also because really I don't want to be one of those girls whose life depends on and revolves around that of her boyfriend. I have my own identity, dammit. I did my own thing before he came along and will continue to do my own thing, just less selfishly. For jeez sakes, I used to make fun of those girls who tossed their own lives aside for a stupid boy. I can be hypocritical about many things (teen pop sucks, says the Hilary Duff cd purchaser) but I really don't want to be hypocritical about that. I've been reassured that a) it is perfectly normal, that even people who have been together for a long time experience the whole "noooooooooo I don't want you to go after all" feelings, and b) that it never gets any easier (I'm not sure this is really reassuring, but that's how the reassur-er meant it to be). Don't worry about me, these are just the latenight ramblings of one who has vaporubbed herself into a mentoladum (help? spelling?) fog and has a serious case of Actifed-Medicine-Head. In lighter news: Green Day Rules! \m/