Would you like to sign up for our store's charge card? No thanks, I have an allergy to plastic that makes me spontaneously combust.

Today.....we shopped. Oh man. I need to re-work my shopping muscles. When I was younger I could shop all day long and it wouldn't even phase me. Now it's more like "Oh am I in a store? I've been here for five minutes? Well that's four minutes and thirty seconds too long. Let's go!" Almost every single store has a charge card now and every single store that has one of those cards wants you to sign up for one. Now I know the poor salespeople have to ask. I know they have quotas to meet and they don't really care if I have one or not. I feel bad for them so I always try to smile and say "No thanks" in a pleasant but firm way. Maybe it's the holiday season but wow. Sometimes they just don't get it. I feel bad for them, their bosses must be breathing down their necks about these cards, because....wow. "Do you have a charge card with us?" "No and I don't really want one, thanks anyway." "Are you sure?" "Yup, don't have the time right now." "Oh it's no trouble, here I'll get you started." "No I meant I don't have the time right now." "Seriously though, I can fill out most of it. What's your name?" "Why? I don't really want the card." "Oh but you'll save money with this card." "I'm sure I will, but I don't want one. I like paying full price." "Are you sure?" "Absolutely positive." "Well since I have you here anyway, why don't we just fill it out and see how much you'd qualify for....if you did want the card." "No, really. I have to go." "It'll only take a second." "Honestly, can I please just pay for my stuff and go?" "Okay well here's your total, how are you paying?" "Debit card" "Oh well that's so easy! I can just copy your name and paste it into our internal form." "NO. Honestly, I know you have to try to get me signed up for this and you were doing a really good job but I really really don't want this card." "Really? Because you seem like you want it." "Lady trust me, if this card was the only means of buying my starving dog some food, I still wouldn't get the card. I'd just give him my foot to snack on. That is how much I don't want this card." ".....Have you tried our other discount card?" Tis the season to be shopping, fa la la la la la la la la.