The Obligatory Thanksgiving Post

Many many years ago we thanked the "Indians" for "sharing" their land with us by giving them chicken pox. No wait. I've spent the last few days thinking, rather obsessively, about this holiday. See, this Thanksgiving is the first time I've been able to be home with my Mom for the holiday since my freshman year of college. I've also been feeling really really guilty about not spending this holiday with another person that I consider family..............even though I haven't seen or spoken to him in months. See, last Thanksgiving I was actually invited by my friend Mike to spend the holiday with him and his family. Mike and I worked at Borders together and we were really close friends. The day before Thanksgiving he called and left a really really long message on my voice mail asking me to go to his house for Thanksgiving. He said that he and his wife hated the idea of me spending the holiday alone and they really wanted me there. He went on and on about it. I knew that Abbott had made plans to stop by and force Tofurkey down anybody who wasn't strong enough to kick him out of the way, and I knew that Mike's daughter from his first marriage was also going to be there. The thing was, I was actually looking forward to spending the whole day alone. I'd been having a rough year already and really just wanted one day without having to deal with anyone or anything, so I decided to not go. This, of course, disappointed both Mike and Abbott (have I mentioned that those two were the non-gay version of Bert and Ernie?) . I think that on some level they both understood why I needed my day to be alone, but I got calls from both of them and Mike made me pinky swear that I was going to be at his house for the next Thanksgiving. That of course would be today, and obviously I am not at his house. I have been driving myself crazy with this for about a week now. I've run the entire guilt gamut. I pinky swore, people! That's legally binding. It doesn't matter that Mike disappeared sometime mid-March. Pinky swears mean you look that person up, you pick up the phone, and no matter how far apart you've drifted, you say "Hey remember we're like family in a weird sort of way, do you want me there on Thursday?" It wasn't until about two o'clock this morning that I remembered a very important part of our pinky swear terms: "Unless, by some miracle, I get to spend Thanksgiving with my Mom next year, I will be at your house," and the guilty weight fell away. Well it was a weird miracle, but because of it I am here with my Mom. In my lifetime I've seen the cheesy paper turkey Thanksgiving, the politically-correct Thanksgiving, the Vegan Thanksgiving (Tofurkey people, it's all about the Tofurkey leftovers and avoiding them), the big family Thanksgivings and the solitary Thanksgiving. I think that along the way we've gotten bogged down in the historical accuracy and the politics of the holiday. For me Thanksgiving is not about how much food I can stuff into my body. It isn't about who did what to whom eons ago. It isn't about the "Indians" "sharing" their land with us and it isn't about us giving them rabies or pageants or even the Macy's parade (although that's kind of fun). It's about taking one day a year to take a look at your life and realize that, even though sometimes it seems really hard and un-fun, you've got it pretty good, considering. I am thankful to be home this year. I am thankful for my family and my friends. I am thankful for all the friends I've made in the blogverse, and for all of the support I've been given. I'm thankful that I have a steady job (even if it does drive me batty most of the time). I'm thankful to simply be alive. I am thankful for a lot that I don't have the time to write about and you don't have the time to read. Mostly today I am thankful for my really fast metabolism because my Mom made REALLY good Turkey. And I'm really really glad we can treat chicken pox and rabies.