Work

Type-pad re-did it's post page. Pretty nifty. Too bad I have to go to work soon and can't just stay home and poke around and see what other things have been re-done.

*sigh* Work.

I spent somewhere around seven or eight hours tweaking my template over at Blogger. It isn't nearly done yet, but by the time I have the fundage to get some webhosting space it will be! It's interesting. I spent an equal amount of time template tweaking yesterday that I will spend working today. Yet, yesterday I did not get tired. I did not get annoyed. I didn't even sigh once. Even with all the hunching over the keyboard...

"Does this work?.........No. Maybe if I type it here............No. OH! Jeez, you leave one comma in there..... THERE it goes!!"

...my back didn't hurt. My eyes weren't tired. My shoulders weren't tight. I was happy as a clam.

Today, however. I am tired and annoyed before I even leave the house. This is not a good sign.

It doesn't have anything to do with who I'm working with. The person who usually makes me want to tear my hair out isn't even going to be there. It isn't that I don't like the product. I work in a freakin' bookstore. I love the product! It isn't even the hour bus-ride I have ahead of me. I actually don't mind the commute at all. I like listening to my walkman and just staring out the window. It's good "me" time.

I just hate retail. I hate it. I've always hated it. I hate selling things to people. I hate that I get a talking to (however mild, it's still annoying) because I consistently don't sucker enough people out of their hard-earned money (in retail speak=my numbers aren't high enough). I don't like that I constantly have to suck it up and smile and be nice to the people who treat me like crap or talk to me like I'm stupid (especially when they are the ones who have their information wrong).

I know it's just a job. I know that "sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do." I know that I have to earn a living. But dangit the way I have to earn a living is sucking the energy out of me and not leaving me with enough to work at the way I want to earn a living. I know that I could do something else with my life that wouldn't leave me feeling down and tired and empty and frustrated on a daily basis. I know that there is something out there (like writing maybe? or theater?) that I can spend hours at and never get tired of it.

And if wishes were fishes we'd all have a fry. Off I go to drudge......er.....work.

I'm really not a pessimist. It's just been a rough couple of weeks.