Flush Safely!

I can't flush my toilet without giggling. This is a serious problem as I am sure that my flush-induced giggles can be heard by others trying to sleep and are not appreciated.

But I can't help it.

Did you know that flushing the toilet causes the water to splash out and coat everything near it? I didn't. You know it's funny, I've been going to the bathroom all my life and not once in the time since I have been potty trained have I noticed my surroundings appearing damp after the toilet flushes. Maybe it's because this stuff that sprays out (it is ejected from the force of the new water flowing into the bowl, forcing the old water (and other......stuff) out) sprays in such microscopic drops that they can't be detected by the human eye...but they can be felt. Apparently.

I didn't know this, but I am not up on my Potty News. Maybe this is a sign I should read more because supposedly there has been a lot of research done about this microscopic geyser that sprays out of the toilet every time you flush.

Somehow, though, this is kept under control by keeping the toilet lid closed. Now, hear me out: If a microscopic geyser of....stuff can come flying out of your toilet and coat everything close to it, couldn't it also seep out from between the toilet lid and the seat?

It's all a little bit beyond me. I don't know whether it's true or not, or whether or not it's as serious as we're supposed to take it in this house.

All I know is that every time I've flushed a toilet since last night, this weird cartoon voice in my head yells "Thar She Blows!!! Run for cover!!!" and I get the giggles.