Boot Cut Intuition

Have I told you about my pants yet?

Apparently I wear a relaxed-fit-boot-cut pant. And here I thought they were just called pants.

I know exactly zero about fashion. Okay that isn't true. I know the style that seems to be popular, but those low-riding-uterus-hugging-bell-bottomy-painted-on-mohair-looking-pants do not jive with my inner "comfort is key" self. Unfortunately, the hysterectomy pants (Cry Baby is such a fun flick!) are popular now, and if you don't want to look like an acid flashback you are pretty much S.O.L.

Such was the case this past weekend on a "Buy Pants or Die" expedition to Eugene.

I looked everywhere, including a store where the jeans were $80!

Do people really buy $80 jeans? And if they do, do these jeans get worn or framed???

Mom and I walked into the store, where the first thing I checked was the price tag. I walked five steps into the store and checked the first price tag I could find. As I was trying to keep myself from choking on my own saliva (it happens when you get reeeeeeeally shocked but can't shout HOLY CRAP ARE YOU SERIOUS??), I heard "your style is actually kept at the back of the store."

Turning, I saw a very friendly sales guy smiling at me.

"Excuse me?" I said, positive my absolute confusion was showing on my face. My style? Of what?

"You like a relaxed fit pant, right?" He asked.

"Oh, I'm not really looking for jeans," I began.

"That's fine, I just thought I'd let you know that the relaxed fit, boot cut stuff is in the back of the store. All the stuff up here is the low cut tight flare stuff. You probably won't be comfortable in it."

"Um. What exactly are you trying to say?" My face asked.

"You like relaxed pants, right? Like the kind you're wearing now?" He asked me, still smiling.

"Yeah, but I'm not--"

"Well if you change your mind, those are at the back.. that way you don't waste your time trying on stuff you know you won't like."

The thing is, this guy was not being snide. He wasn't making a comment about my sloppy appearance. He was smiling and friendly.

And somehow he judged my pants within fifteen seconds of me coming into his field of vision. That's a talent I will never possess. It's too bad that store was so expensive, I probably would have bought a pair just out out of admiration for his pant-judging abilities.

Who knew my pants had a style? I thought they were just there so my butt wouldn't get cold or sunburned.