This One Got Away From Me

I’m 26 years old, I’m single and I live at home. I am George W’s antichrist. Not only am I in favor of same sex marriage and want our troops brought home, but I, a 5 foot tall white girl from the middle of nowhere am doing nothing to contribute to the consumerism that benefits and pushes his administration on. Come to think of it, I am corporate America’s biggest fear: The non-consumer.

I spend my money on my website, books from authors I love, music from artists who move me and once in a while I buy new pants because pants have a tendency to wear out in the butt and as far as I know, walking around in assless pants is against my job’s dress code.

My money doesn’t go for rent. It doesn’t go for electricity. It doesn’t go for cable tv. Heck, it doesn’t even go for gas (ooh, did W just get the shivers?) because….. *gasp* I don’t drive. If I did drive, I would drive either a hybrid or a diesel engine automobile (pretty much cause I want my car to smell like french fries, although the fact that diesel is better for the environment is nothing to sneeze at either). I voted for same sex marriage, tax cuts for the people who need and deserve them (as opposed to those who are merely inconvenienced by the "patriotic" act of paying taxes). I voted to legalize marijuana because I would rather our prisons be crammed full of murderers and rapists than kids who think that, like, the cast of the OC are like, seriously freakin’ talented dude………..and did you eat the last nacho ‘cause I’m starvin’ man! I think teachers should be paid more than professional athletes. I think we should take money from the war and give it to the libraries. I believe that if I am sick, I should be able to go see a doctor and not have to sell him a kidney to be able to pay his bill. If I need medicine, it shouldn’t matter if it comes from Canada as long as it gets me better.

If a man goes to war and manages to survive, he should be allowed to come home and speak honestly about his experiences there, negative or positive. If he denounces the war, he should be listened to as somebody who was freaking there.

If a man enlists to go to war and then "forgets" to show up, he should Not be allowed to speak about what the war was like, nor should he be allowed to call the first man a liar or any other pet names.

I believe that a campaign should not be about why the other guy sucks, but about why each candidate is qualified. I believe that my vote should count just as much as some guy who sits in a comfy leather chair over in DC every day who forgets that his vote is supposed to represent me and the people who live in my neighborhood, not the cause that has the hottest lobbyist.

I think that our president should be subject to the same laws and punishments as his citizens and vice versa. Therefore if the President can be called before a grand jury for adultery then the rest of the adulterers out there better start trying to find lawyers. And for that matter anybody employed by the current administration who calls our current leader "Chief Boobyface" should be subject to the same surveillance as those who are not so gainfully employed. Diplomatic Immunity be damned.

I don’t believe that people should be forced to follow a religious doctrine if it is not the religion to which they subscribe. If a person chooses to not say "Under God" during the pledge of allegiance, oh well. If he refuses to say "With Liberty and Justice for All" well, then that’s a much bigger indicator as to his character isn’t it?

Oh yeah and preaching abstinence in South Africa ain’t gonna stop the spread of Aids. Hand out some goddamn condoms.

And thus we end tonight’s summary of digruntlements. Chalk one up for the "learned to swear in front of my Mommy" team!