For Abbott....Sorta.

Time: 6:35pm Pacific Standard Time Music: Linkin Park's Meteora Currently Reading: Dude, Where's My Country by Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot by Al Franken Television: Just finished watching Once Upon a Time in Mexico for the second time. Other Stats: Getting bored with typing stats. It's funny how you think you can know yourself so well and then you come to find out that somebody else, who is Not you ends up knowing you better and being right. It's incredibly irritating. Growing up, everybody told me that I should be a writer, and I do mean Everybody. My family, friends, teachers, community members, classmates even people who didn't like me or didn't know me very well told me that I should write. People who meet me ask five minutes later and ask if I'm a writer. Apparently I have a very unique way of expressing myself. My friend Abbott, though, was the one who ended up getting through. Not because he told me that I should be a writer (or an actress or an artist) but because he told me that he could tell I had something that I was dying to say and he wished that I would just hurry up and say it. He was especially fond of telling me to stop [messing] around and put my potential to work. So in a way I guess I am. Finally instead of just sitting on my......butt and thinking things that I think are profound or at least interesting, I'm going to put them out there for the world (or at least my friends and family) to read and potentially rip to shreds. I should mention here that confidence is not one of my stronger qualities. I figure that a first blog entry should serve as a sort of introduction so here is the boring stuff: I'm alive. I'm a girl. I have thoughts. I'm legally able to do everything except get the senior discount at Dennys (although on occasion I still get handed a children's menu). I guess a real introduction to me would be to tell you that I'm a pretty typical Tail-end-Gen-Xer. I'm a statistic: Divorced parents, family everywhere, friends everywhere. I went to school for many years and am currently not using my extensive education for anything practical (although some would argue that an English major would help to polish one's writing skills). I have a general loathing for anything trendy or to the minute, yet I am morbidly fascinated with current pop culture and try to keep up with things and yet stay detached. I'd rather work for the satisfaction of what I do than what it pays which is good because I work in a bookstore. I am nowhere near settling down and am always searching for that next adventure to chicken out of. Oh yeah, and my best friend just died. Well... not Just. It's been almost a month. My best friend's name is Abbott Garcia and he died in a car accident on December 27, 2003. Abbott expected more of me than my hardest professor and saw more in me than even my Mother had the faith to believe was there. He challenged me, taught me, made me laugh, made me cry, calmed me down and constantly found new ways to ruffle my feathers. He irritated me, infuriated me, annoyed me and confused me. He argued with me, joked with me, talked to me but never at me. He was my confidant, my other half and my mentor. He was the one to push me, to never let me settle. We never had a real fight but were always up for a good bickering session and through everything I always knew he loved me back twice as much as I loved him. I miss him with every cell every second of every day. It is because of him that I am starting this blog--to use my voice. Abbott used to tell me there was more to what I wanted to say than what I actually said and hopefully this blog will become a forum for that. That is why I labelled this entry For Abbott... Sorta. It's for him that I am starting this but it is also for me. It's time I did what he and everybody else has been telling me to do for so long: Live up to my potential. Hopefully. I hate to start this blog on such a sad note... I'd much rather have started with something positive and pep talky: I have stuff to say!!! You'll like it!!! It's smart and funny!!! RARRRR GO TEAM!!! Alas, along with the rest of my people (brainy/creative types) I can't stand phoniness and that would have been a dishonest start. I have no idea if you'll like anything I have to say or if it will be smart or funny. I can only hope to get you to think. Happy Reading!